Technical difficulties
I think I may have done this once ...
Evidence that I can still get made out with in a bar
Day 1: NWI Pop quiz, by Mer
Already a headache, and she's not even in yet
The shit writes itself sometimes
Completely flew under the radar
Better start cleaning up around this bitch
My BiL is a steaming asshole*
I'm going to the Gay Games, tra la la
Have I ever mentioned my sick, sick love for Kiefer Sutherland?
I never showed you my new sunumbrellies, did I?
File under: This can't be good for anyone, really
If the shirt fits ...
And I thought there was just a lot of hot air
Do it again
My boys have made it to the big time
Taking the whole competition thing a bit too seriously
Worm fricasee
Worm stew
Of course I didn't forget it was Dad's birthday yesterday (also: Pass the worms)
They're crocs, all right -- of comfort
Easiest filet dinner ever
Love the skin yer in
Keep it together
To be young again
The black hole
Or make me want to stab out my eyes
I can tell you something ELSE I need
Because I'm lazy and still tired from the show
Color me converted
Get into the mood/Madge you got to prove/your worth to meeeeeeee ...
Beach Girl Beauty got on the stick
House of Crohn's
Beach Girl Beauty better get on the stick
Owwwwwwwwwwww
Where've I been?
The Rev. Dr. Leon Finney Jr. is a big fat hypocrite
The new 'do
How come no one told me Mike Patton still does stuff!?
"SOOOULLLL PATROOOOL"!?? Are you kidding me!??
Drippy and oh, SO miserable
Life's Sweet Sound
And it was ...
Nobody call me between 8-10 p.m. tonight (and I mean NOBODY)
Happy day of the mommas
Fucking cancer
Not to mention
Bad blogger. Bad, bad, bad!
I told y'all I'm now on MySpace too, right?
I love getting e-mails from The Universe
Leave it to Lake County to screw up election returns (also, I now have hillbillies in my 'hood)
Man, someone's got her period
Because I want to be first to post Nicole Jamrose shots before anyone else tonight
Ok, y'all didn't ask for it, but ...
By posting this, does this mean I'm a good Christian?
NOW I've heard it all
Learning the recorder should've been so fun
Skeletor gots issues
I just paid $43
Strike a pose, bitches
Is that a ferret in my pants, or am ... no, wait. That really IS a ferret in my pants
You know you're turning into a spinster when
Death and taxes
Man, my ass is going to hurt tomorrow
It's Wednesday
And ... it totally didn't suck
At least the kidlets will be there to kill the fall-out
Feelin' broody (Must be in the air, yo)
Pssst ... good news from the reservation! Pass it on!
Indeed
Behold my brilliance
I SMOKED 'em, y'all! (but I'm still going to kick JB's ass for this)
Today was the day instead
For the halibut
Others who're getting it more than I am these days
Just like Ol' King Cole, but not really
Awwwwwww, what's the matter, Mike!??
There's a name for it
Did y'all hear
Lovin' every minute of it
All right, I'll talk about the Oscars, then
Y'all are slipping
The family ties that bind, surprise
Lots to tell about dinner the other night, but ...
Meeting of the minds
Buyer's remorse
It was only a matter of time
Rules of engagement
Sister, sister (Madre Mia!)
Original content TK, but for now, tell me something I didn't already know
Me and Snidgey are the same again ...
STELLLLLLLLLLAAAAA!
Sometimes I do really enjoy my brother
Beware the House of Dada
Not that there's anything wrong with this
And the last one in the group ... Kcat!
Bridget Fonda in Single White Female, I ain't
When it's just best to shut your big yap, boys
And I totally thought it was tomorrow ...
I just need one black and white striped towel. Is that so wrong!??
The Red Robin smelled like BO yesterday
The fightin' Macedonians
$2 Chuck, and I don't mean the wine
KITTENS!
Call me 'SEYmour!' As in Skinner
Go Shorty, iss her birfday
If only there was something in MY memoirs to retract
I shaved my legs for this!??
"Who's drinking with me!??"
"And why do they gotta pick such stupid songs?"
Peachball and the introduction of Klepto
Snidge is supposed to be in at 10:30 ...
You're going to wish you were me Tuesday
Since I'm going to hell anyway
The one in which I laugh at the stupidity of boys
You know, I like The Jerry Springer Show as much as the next idiot
Last words
This just in ...
"The truth about 'roni/she a sweet ol' girl"
Truncated thoughts on the Golden Globe fashions ...
Crisis averted. Sort of
This is why I say, 'Who needs men when you have cats!??'
Her big, fat Greek dinner
Oh, Oprah. How utterly disappointing
Poor little homie
Oh, the indignities befallen a 14-pound monster
Bitter? I hardly know her
You see the button -- now DO IT!
If only my hair were still red
My God, I think I'm in love
Krispy Kreme was a good idea, too, except when it wasn't
Oh, D.Ceeeeeee ... I'm WAITING ...
Who's doing that!??
All hail jooooolie
Chili cheese burritos at 1:30 a.m.? Off the list
They're reversible holiday dish towels
(sigh), pt. 2
A crossroads of sorts
So, the rest of the holiday stuff to which I haven't gotten
Elected officials are funny
Mikiko's gift to the region
Holiday vaykay
It's a Christmas miracle! No, seriously. It really is
All I wanted was a damn bowl of soup
I've been called many things, but deep? Nuh-uh
Know what doesn't work in Indiana tourism? Cockblocking
Coolest song lyrics EVER
(Read: I DATE society's outcasts)
Is it wrong for a broad ... (Pt. 2)
Dix does good
Toto attempts to shanghai Michael McDonald's career
It's totally a small world after all, y'all
Y kant Broad work?
And another thing ...
You better WORK!
I don't even know what this means, but kicking Meatwad sounds fun
This is why I love my friends, pt. 8,925
The one where my friends all laugh at me and accuse me of being a hypochondriac -- aGAIN
Dead right, from Dangdiggity
This or that
Back to the cabbage patch for me
Well, DUH
Broad readership in the US of A whole universe
Rhetorically
Welcome to my world
That was some unbeLIEEEEEvable television
Sometimes, it takes very little
And you know what the worst part is
What did I doooo!?? WHAT DID I DOOOO!!?
My pretend rockstar boyfriend says ...
I'm thankful for ...
Code monkey and the elephants
Figures I miss the best part of the whole evening
Crap
Balls
Spammer jerks, and other assorted ramblings
More marketing moronity
Jeezy Creezy, behold this marketing nightmare
Now, that's what I'M talking about
Always the first snow*
Doncha wish you were me right now?
Is it disturbing
An impassioned plea from the blogosphere
She be going to the big leagues
At least Pop hasn't lost her sense of humor
Can I have a mimosa NOW, please!??
We're rootin' for you, Poofledy Hoofledy
"Children are our future, but today belongs to ME!"
You did NOT tell me skip that doughnut, did you?
Have I dated that guy?
"They spread rose petals on their pillows and go 'Meeeeee!' "
Have y'all tried that new stuff by Downy?
I went to the bariatric fashon show luncheon, and all I got was a ham sandwich and fruit
An intervention of one
When parenting goes horribly, horribly wrong
Yeah. AND ...
PornoPhotographic evidence
Go TOG, iss yo birfday (not to be confused with Og)
It's the new style
Now that I'm all Butterballed
It takes just one to ruin it for everyone
How wrong is it
It can wait
Worth more than I make in a year
But why go through all this when all you want is a screw?
I took my mother to Nordstrom's and all I got ...
Who lyin' to me?
Highway rulez
Daaaaaaaaaang ...
Getting out the word on a Broader scale
"Fuck off with that coffee song."
Looking at the world (from the inside of his ass)
She just keeps growing, and growing, and growing
She's scamming the detectives
Another image completely blown to hell
The latest Balkan bonanza (now will you stop looking up Zook on the Internet!??)
I'm Ok, she's Ok
The elephants are coming
Ah-hah! (Said in my best Nelson voice)
Das in Effe(xor)
So proud to be a Hoosier
New rule: No Stouffer's french breads before bed
No maybes on THAT baby
Crack(head) is back. And whack
Whole lotta nothing goin' on
No comments about the tata resemblance, por favor
Promised, and you're receiving (Imagine that.)
The crib is clean
Meet the Ramseurs
Note to self: Wear makeup more often
Remember when I was a big asshole
My designer has a new name, it's P-S-Y-C-H ...OOO(babble)
They're all stars now in the freak show
I lived to tell the tale
This ought to be good
Meme, Meemmee, MEMEEEEEEE -- oh.
I'm never leaving the house again
Mike Doughty is my new (rockstar) boyfriend* -- and PUPPIES!
Ain't no smilin' faces lyin' to the races
You don't need help to poop on a cracker
Cold-hearted snake (a cautionary tale)
That's it -- I'm movin' in with Snidge
The mind(freak) boggles
I like my taste in music, thankyew
(sigh)
Just ... ouch
My doctor says I have to take ... A LAXATIVE!
So, when all that's left of me is love ...
To know, know knooow him, is to ...
Reading on Sunday morning
Cat scratch fever my ass
She do run run run
Step awaaaay from the crackpipe
Don't hate me because I got some
Saying "Happy Birthday!" With b00bs!
Kitty pr0n
Here's why I now tell people I was born in a cabbage patch
Mother would continue to be proud
I don't wanna grown uuuuuuuuuup!
Exterior decorating
Too cool for school, my friends
It's that tiiiiiime of year
Mother would be so proud
I just noticed
I'll give you artistic license
Entirely too true
Stupid harpy bats
Death by ... not bunga bunga, apparently
Life and how short it is
Your first clue was ...!?!
And it all goes straight to my ass
I just want to get laid. Is THAT so wrong?!?
They'll call it, "A Friendship to Die For" on the Lifetime channel
Fit as a fiddle (what does that even mean?)
How about giving up the love
Janie needs a gun ...
Of course we're alike
Alone again ... thank GOD
In the interest of clarity ...
How'd they know?
I'm guessing no one's going to disagree
Caught in the game, caught in the gaaaaa-aame
Where was I?
I know, I know. But Dogdamn it ...
Wanna be my best friend forever?
"Indiana is, like, Illinois's duty-free shop."
More victories for the taking
She gone to Kansas City/Kansas City, here she come
Hi-ho, hi-ho
Showdown drama at the RB latrine
Well done, Yinglybert Slappedyback and Fishy Bob
Can I just tell you ...
By the way
Not like I'm not already going to hell, anyway
It WAS going to be a nonstop day ...
Tiiiiiiiin RIM ... busted
I could hang
So yeah, my boyfriend Aaron Beavers ...
Aaron Beavers loooooooaves me
Cat, if you're out there ...
Artists' rights forever. Also? Read more carefully, anonymous posters.
The end is nigh
Must. stop. the. SCREAMING
Bit o' housekeeping
"i'm not in the mood for your bullshit. leave me alone."
I get the feeling ...
Did I say "pussy?" I think what I REALLY meant was ...
Never underestimate the power of Dad
Before I forget (as if I ever could)
Time caves to government pressure, hangs all reporters out to dry
I think I may have a new boyfriend
Closest I'll ever get to attending MIT
Because I'm a retard and have no idea how this works
But I like them
Blog rules 101
Kids these days
Today, my job just became a lot scarier
Is it wrong for a broad ...
OHMIGOD, the HOTNESS
(Re)mission (notatall)impossible
Death and taxes (working title: "It sucks to be me")
Oh-so-quiet
So, where did we leave off ...
We're all still here ... and we LOVE shurman
Snidgey in da hizzie
I know you wanna know ...
D-Day: 6 p.m.
The hed on one of my news thingys today reads
See what I won't do for company? In pictures
Coming together quite rightly again, if only I could find a brown halter
Girl does know her limits
Knew it couldn't last
Stupid cancer stories making me cry
Finally the tables are starting to turn ...
Get out. I'm shocked. Shocked, I say. Yawn.
No apologies
That just beats all, don't it?
People couldn't suck any harder if they...
Crackhead got lucky again
Some things are better left unsaid
The Fugue-ees (or, how I miss real ringtones)
Conspiratorially
Ending the day on a good note
True dis
And THEN, as if my day couldn't get worse ...
Mac, you done with my new bag, yet?
Bringing on the heartbreak
Dad, revisited
All you wanted to know about blogging in NWI
I always feel like, somebody's WATching meeeeee
Snidgey and I don't match this time
Always check the life span
All in the delivery
What about shutting your cakehole? How about that?
This is the part where we wait
Some really good reading today
"Oh, baby, I want to $*%# your #(%&# "
You'll thank me for this one day
This skeers me. A lot
And they don't even sell it for dinars*
I've reached the 21st century, and it is goooood ...
Y'all have been holding out on me
More sex tips, please
My days of crappy dialup are numbered
Sleeeeeeeeepy, I tell you
I was tight yesterday
Leave it to a lawyer to piss up my rope
Once again, Snidgey and I are twins
Shoes! Glorious shoes!
Get in the game, everyone
Yeah, because they're not USING or anything ...
Done bought into her own hype
Well, isn't THIS odd!?!
"Bad Titty!" and cock rings
Another butt-crack of dawn assignment ...
Me. Spiritually
More hilarity from Bensonhurst
For the love of GOD, people
Poster child for teeth whitening
Yeah, I know Adrian Zakula. Why do you ask?
Isn't she lovely!?!?
You wouldn't like me when I'm in a coma
I got in the pants de la Maison
Whose bright idea was this!?!?
'Cuz she's playin' all night, and the music's all right
Sleeping off a good buzz, and I have no family
To the person who ripped off my safety pin
Don't try suicide; no one cares (Isn't that a Queen song?)
I'm LUSTY!
Now THIS one makes me queasy
I notice NWI Hillbilly was not among the choices
Think I'm kidding, do you?
Name that stump, yo
Ow. My head
Opie's got a grrrrrl-friend
Alone, together ...
Can never have too many pets
Down at the Sunset Lounge ...
Great minds drink alike
Pesky peer pressure
BRITNEY'S PREGNANT
A room of one's own, indeed
Food not for the thinking
Overheard during court today:
Bitter salad with a side of venom
Relative intelligence of spammer dicks
I give up, I swear it this time
Bloody relation, bloody hell
Look. A tear. (aka Meatball update)
The philanthropy? Stops here.
Because I'm scared of that book one
Sigh. Grumble. Whimper.
Have I mentioned how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE my accountant!?
'I'm' and 'Good' not welcome here
No cracks about my weight, por favor
BOOOOring
See this little meatball?
She wants your cash ...
And my eyelashes all in curl ...
Would a turd by any other name smell as bad?
Just sayin'
A word about the Schiavo case
I take issue with the word "coquette"
Fuckety fuck fuck fuck, pt. 32
Domo origato
Tonight's the night ...
Days when the job is not so fun
Another ecosystem bites the dust
He's creepy -- and he's just my type!
Bored and sleepy
Whole lotta shartin' goin' on (US Title: Where my boobs at?)
A taste of stories TK
Before I get to my kick-ass weekend ...
The info on the show for Wad (since he doesn't know how to e-mail like a normal person)
Snidgey called ...
Good news, everyone ...
Get the par-tay started
I am NOT a hypochondriac. Where'd you get that?
Like I'd share it with y'all
Wad! Wad! Wad! Wad! Wad! ...
Five days and counting
Choice for me? Cancer free
See if you can detect the pattern
I beg to differ, you pastyfaced little twerp
Anyone know what лещен is?
Closest I'll ever get to being a Playboy Bunny
Is it WRONG for a broad to ...
Or maybe BBQ would work better
Coming together quite rightly
And on the 8th day, I christened thee 'Wad,' and he is good
Holdin' back the years
1st and 59th
I look like that, too ... when I'm nekkid and alone
Pr0n purveyors resist union advances
He's joined the ranks, yo!
24,000 on 24
I'm going back to bed
Guck fucked up
All right, already! Jeez
Candy everyone wants (but can't afford)
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzzzzzzzzzz
Anything to get some attention
Sleepytime blews
Just when I thought I was out ...
Oh, Groovy Girl Sniiiiiiidge ...
When dreams go horribly wrong
Whoa, whoa whooooooaaaaaa!
Swoopin' In...
I've lost my mojo
Super sucker
Our lady peace. Riiiiiight
Wouldn't I have to be a crazy bitch to be her!?!
My Aquarian sistah!
Open mouth, insert spiral
Hairy sitch
Here's to Life, baby
More memes on a Monday
Snidge asked for it ...
Vicks is the new tweek
Loves me some recognition, I do
Dark days indeed
Wow. This blows
Drugs! Glorious drugs!
Well, THAT'S something I guess I won't be trying again
At least I ain't the only dweller in this bitch
Not a good way to pick up dudes
Lovely way to start off the birthday season
Name that tune
Republic of Deh
The love of my life
Breathing a bit easier
I thought I was done with this shit
oh and one more thing...
She's baaaaaccckkkkk
What's grosser than gross?
What's a little evisceration among friends, n'est ce pas!?
Snidge is in the house!
Waaah! I'm only 51 percent!
PreSUMING ...!?!?!?!
Hey, iTunes, play that song
Killin' time doin' time (or, "Hey Ma, meet my new boyfriend -- in jail")
Party peoople in the hizzie
I was really kinda hoping for Stewie, but this'll do
I am the super fantastic girl, even if I am poor!
"We like ... soup"
Assburger Syndrome, indeed
Hey Fox Broadcasting! Over here!
Dammit, Snidge!
Is that all there is?
Shhhh!
(Re)learn something every day
Another Auld Ang Syne
Why couldn't MY Fishnuts be like theirs?
Out for blood
You can't HAN-dle the TRUTH!
Drowning in a sea of something
Fucking day
More from Hairy Fishnuts, 2004
Hairy Fishnuts: The aftermath (or, I need a Goddamned drink)
Hairy Fishnuts, pt. 2
Hairy Fishnuts, yo!
A lovely early Christmas present
Since everyone else did it ...
No references to squid, please
Perverts in advertising
Does the fact that I don't do Xbox count against me?
Another reason why I shouldn't be allowed to breed
You'll burn your eye out
Have I mentioned how much I love her lately?
A little social cheer for y'all
Rolling in the green
Designs on scamming me out my money
Serves you right
Comes in 3's
Hot piss
Can't catch a break sometimes
Going to a strip club, everybody
Days off are nice
House won't be a home
Ever have one of those days ...
I didn't eat anything before bed. Why do you ask?
True dis
On the dl
So much for honesty and public officials
Gettin' you in da Crimmus spirit
Smells like teen spirit
Couldn't say it better myself
Funeral for a friend, pt. 2
Into the car and down the road to White Rose Inn we go ...
Progress (Call off the cavalry)
School was never this cool for me
There's a reason I call him my smelly guy
Well, life WAS going good ...
And then? There were two
Still on about the pants
Still not dead yet
No no, gadget
Meeting of the minds ...
Here she comes ...
Is it wrong ...
He done dood it
Just another tricky day (or, yet another reason as to why I should never be a parent)
Unmedicated
Warren Beatty!?!? The hell!?!?!
Funeral for a friend
Murder most foul
Why, yes! Yes, I am
You got that right, pigfucker
Want some candy ...?
The aftermath
A little means a lot
It's all psychobabble rap to me
The crib's clean, though
The meeting that would. not. END.
What's a Broad gotta do to get ...
Everyone's gone to the movies ...
Can you ever really have enough boob talk? Seriously
Stupid new bra not fitting after all
Beware the boogey (also, the one where Broad panders for new bedding)
It's oh, so quiet
Dooce is a lucky woman
Pick yer butt, Shelby. Pick yer butt.
Be careful what you wish for, and so on and so forth
How do you even respond?
The choice for Kaffy? CANCER-FREE!
Holy shit! A bra that fits!
Dude got DOOCED
It's a damn jihad, yo
Well, you ASKED ...
Is it just me ...
It's ON, m'er f'ers
How old's this guy!?!?!
Stupid doctors not calling when they're supposed to ...
Must be doin' my job ...
No one's ever accused me of being 'Sunny'
Don't want to start any blasphemous rumors, but ...
Wanna know some secrets?
So say you'll help me, Mama, 'cuz it's getting so hard
Now, that's what I'm talking about
There's a perfectly logical explanation ...
It's a sickness, I tell you
SWING, Bat-taaaaaah!
It's a holiday in Fallujah
All good (under) the 'hood again
Color me impressed
Face to face, sleep back-to-back
Broads and their toys
I had a Twix last night. Does that count?
When quizzes aren't right
Memeing the night away
Sing it, Mary J.
Lost another local to the savages of war
Oh NO! Mr. BUSH!
I guess it got the cat thing right
Open letter to a jackass (and you know who you are)
It's all Tara's fault
Why are there little bugs flying out of my toilet?
Just chewy Christ now
Crispity Christ
Cranky sings the blues (with love to getupgrrl)
Getting closer ...
When 'sex' on a license plate goes horribly wrong
Giving minorities the bidness
You say it's your birthday
When I said 'backdoor,' this is NOT what I meant
That's some balls, #674
Hacker? I hardly KNOW her
Love, love, love
Ok, trying not to panic
Here I come to save the day!
Gonna go have me a spicy chicken small boat
Hey, bottle of Yellowtail, you lookin' fiiiiine
Piss on it, man
Skull fucking? Is fun!
I'll cop to that
Forget what I said about Ditka
Kaffy wanted me to ask y'all ...
Equipment malfunction
But like the acrobats, they tumble
And the world was a better place
Fuck.
And so it began ...
A face for radio, but definitely not the voice
Ne mas! Ne mas!
He can blame me all he wants, but I didn't do it
You put the lime with Hobart nuts and shake it all up ...
Girls, girls, girls
They're baaaaaaaaaaack!
Fuck the train; fix the fucking highway
Wookiewookiewookiewookiewookie ... shut-up!
It's all about meme
Now I want my own crib
The lust that shouldn't speak its name
s'Nap time, everyone
Man, my boobs hurt
The one where God hides my cell phone
It just keep growing and growing ...
What's a Broad gotta do?
Hate it when that happens, pt. 65
Shed the skin you're in
See? And y'all think I'm crazy
Fire and cold water? Don't mix
Having some issues, apparently
Yay! More war crimes!
Ohmigodohmigodohmigod!
Sinister ending to an otherwise fantastic week
Mating rituals in a Midwestern town
"Do you do anal?"
The crappy effects of getting loaded
A treatise on rank poverty, Mer stylee
North and South unite
You think!?!?
Shiraz, shiraz, shiraz!
Suckage comes from all over
I just wanna be clean. Is that so wrong!?
Parting shot by the Brazilian Whore
Who's idea was this?
Score one for the honest, yet sneaky, Broads
More Brazilian Whore war stories
Kaffy's Obama drama
Brazilian whores are stealing my bandwidth!
Vinyl smells
Insomnia sucks
I got yer "Wardrobe Malfunction" right here
Don't want no short short man
The one where Broad wears the wrong someone else's panties
Bownp buh bowmp bowwwwwmp
Yeah. SO?
You in trouble now
One of these things is not like the other
Why I love her so
Broad commercialization
Been there, heard that, prolly have the t-shirt
More good cop stories
In case y'all have forgotten ...
Can't escape City Hall
New heir to the rock n'roll throne
Death for fighting-machine aeroplanes
Can I call my cooter Cameron Jones? Please?
Are you DONE yet?
Beaches, Smeeches
Throat's on fire, burning up my bod-ay
Baby did a bad, bad thing
Everyone's doing it
Viruswatch 2004 (aka This blows cow balls)
Wait ... what?
Now that you mention it ...
It's prolly West Nile
It's a contest, everyone!
We bang! We bang! Cats go crazy
While we're on the subject of Cro-Mags and scum ...
The one where Broad almost gets taken out by a rifle
You don't say ...
Idn't she cuuuuuuute? Pt. 1
Read between the lines, yo
Blog! Blog! Blog! Blog!
Septugenarians rule
Note to Cat ...
Love FEST! Baby, love FEST!
Wasn't me
I be back, my peeps
What was and what should never be
Zoot LURVES me
Since we're on the subject ...
Stop talking about me
Just because ... nuthin'!
Making the WRONG decision
I remember when ...
Sheeeeee-it, muthafucka
No. Get out. Imagine my surprise.
Yo! Crackhead!
Made it to 200
Gyros, though tasty, might be out of the question, too
Took him out to the ballgame
It's name? is Pimp
I'll take a bottle of Pepto and glazed doughnut. To go.
Nerves sufficiently pinched
Her damn powers of persuasion
Alarming disregard
Iss bad, you know
Driving me to purchase
Beth's snarky ...
Comedy in the midst of chaos
Even I have my limits
The muse
It. won't. DIE.
Love your blog mistress
Choices result in lesson learned, whining
Dad's still around
People like the damnedest things
Keep 'em coming
It ain't a dream until Paris is involved
Rooting them out, one at a time
Got the gooood stuff, bay-bay
While we're on sex ...
If I were a long-tailed rodent ...
Broad-ening the love
When having a hillbilly ride is NOT hot
The drive behind my delinquency
My name's Darlene. Wanna see my butt?
I don't even know what this means
Fuckety fuck fuck fuck ... (whimper)
Reading was fundamental
Because it's important what the receptionist thinks
I feel a draft coming on, take 2
True blue, yo
Dad: The straight dope
Snickers Ice cream bars and York Peppermint Patties don't mix
But Julie Cooper likes that old time rock n' roll
We interrupt the full-tilt bitching starting tomorrow ...
Again with the smells
Own your shit, man
My hair rocks
No pressure or anything
Driving along, doing ma thang, pt. 1
Cult of Peerless-ality
An open plea
BLAAAAARGH! Stupid battery!
And so it begins ...
Truckin'
Fake bake? Check. Gut Sucker? Check ...
We'll be dancin' on the ceiling
Doubt there'd be an Oscar for THIS performance
It ain't right, I tells ya
Now (they) do what they told (them)
Didn't see THIS coming
Keeping up with the Joneses
Your government, hard at work
Would YOU work if you had this?
Throw Mother from the car, pt. 1
Yubyubyub boo-yah!
We got crazies up in here
Whoa, too accurate, except about the stoned part
Rain, rain ... yeah, you know the drill
Heebin' my head off
Econ 101
Bling-dong
Rotten don't being to cover it
I'm rubbery!
Free drugs. Boo.
Free drugs! Woo!
To da Mommas in the hizzie ...
Still feh-ful, yo
Prayer for the annoyeded
Can you feel the feh!?
Only an American
Now back to our regularly scheduled program
Just call me Huggy Bear
I'm not a fucking prude ... or AM I!? ...
It's a GRRRRRL, yo!
Stupid being all emotional when I'm sick
Not dead yet
I have no voice, yet I must scream.
What's worse than fire going down?
Illness, Day 1
Hel-LOOOOOOOOO, Cleveland!
Heh -- had y'all fooled, didn't I?
Evening waste (pun intended)
Home-cooked meals rule.
There IS no God, pt. 1
The toes know, bro
I'm a blister on Dong! Eeee!
He likes it! Hey, mikey!
You know, because I'm a petite flower and shit.
She sure did have it coming.
A "Kill Bill v. 2" review beyond compare
If the diarrhea doesn't kill her, I will.
Mother seems to be Ok now.
Churns MY stomach, I tells ya.
My tummy's bubbly. So are my toes, kinda.
Some accolades are so much better than others.
The goods on my night of debauchery
Roger Clyne is sexiest man I've ever seen.
Same shit, different car
Day of atonement ... or something
How elfin my Elph is
The. World's. BIGGEST. PANTS.
BFKAS? Is that YOU?
It's Kaffy's fault. Blame her.
Beaten pile of noodly wank, I am
I'm NOT a WEINER!
You WISH you could be her ... oh, wait. Maybe you are.
Grrrrrrrrr ...
The problem with afternoon naps
The pussification of America, and the one guy's mystique
War is hell.
My Mexican hot tamale is leaving me! Noooo!
We're the shizz-net!
That thing about the best-laid plans?
I feel so much better now.
My pal Mer
Popularity's hell, I tell you.
Pants? Officially peed upon.
Maaaaaa! Pete's picking on me!
They're bringing back the band!
Don't know what to do first.
That's right -- he DID die today.
Not funny, but hysterical at the same time. Period.
Word of advice for the boys ...
Unintentional hard-on
Goin' to the chapel ...
The Corolla was alive with the sound of music ...
Meme-in' to the Oldies
Best. $100. spent. EVER.
There's one for you, 19 for me ...
Is it just me ...
I swear, I didn't make this up!
You heard it here first:
Kaffy's new live-in lover
That'll learn me to eat taquitos so close to bedtime
Greta pissed off the laaaand-lords ...
Extreme ambulance chasing
Looks is deceiving sometimes.
You THINK you scooped me, but you really didn't.
Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, love-ly day ...
Immediate crisis averted
Woo, X-Rock!
So much to do ...
My secret (even to me) life in Internet porn
Guess I'm not a bitch after all.
Blog peeping is fun!
Feeding the beast, 12 inches at a time
Hot dogs! Get your Grassy Knoll hot dogs!
Mmmmmm ... cleeeeeean
Good God! My face is HUGE!
Balls.
Another Kennedy conspiracy
All this over a station wagon
My date with Perry Farrell: So. Unbelievably. Best.
Will Perry love a cripple?
Region folk on metrosexuality
Me me me meeeeeme
Got my kitty rockin' like Dokken
I will SO be wearing the red Manolos for this.
Shameless product pimping, pt. 1
That's some balls ... or something ...
Random observation not fueled by coffee
My point, exactly ...
He's a rollin' stone.
Understatement of the year
Ding-dong! The witch is moved!
Walking that fine line
Financial disaster averted
Somebody likes me! Eeeee!
As if it couldn't get any worse ...
F$*#%& stupid Post Office
So THAT'S where she got that.
Can't. Stop. Eating. Chalupas.
Another quiet day
No accounting for taste
Disney says 'No' to tits
I'm off to see the robots.
Oh, Uma. Honey ...
Opinions bad, hypocrisy good.
Channeling Oliver: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
That there car's got some balls to it.
What about the nanny?
Heh. Sounds like Hobart.
"That's not going to fall down my shirt, is it?"
You know what sucks?
Friends are friends, and co-workers are co-workers ...
Be careful what you craigslist for ...
Sometimes I forget how wonderful The Onion is ...
Just don't get in Katie's angle.
I love my married gay friends.
I'm such a sap.
My first time pimping out another site
Um, yeah, you told me that already ...
Paranoid, much?
It's all HAPPENING ...