I discovered some very unsettling (at least to me) news in the wee hours of Saturday morning: The one guy? Is a Republican. Now, you might be wondering why this is such a huge deal, and it's not ... sort of. I mean, I've known him for going to be seven years in June and have been involved with him for what's going to be six in September, so for one, how could I have missed this fact when I know just about everything else there is to know about the guy, right!?!? But that's a total aside to the real disaster -- you know, the part when I said that Oprah doesn't have an agenda.

If you felt the earth jump off its axis 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning, that would be because "Oprah doesn't have an agenda" came out of my mouth, and the ground ripped open underneath my bed and swallowed my stupid ass.

We were talking about tsunami relief and how I, too, felt in light of billions upon billions of dollars getting dumped in a place we should not be in the first place all in the name of democracy and showing the world how we're the greatest country ever, the initial $15 mil was a slap in the face. He countered with this: Say he was a millionaire, and one of his friends asks him for help because their crib burned down. He offers $30K, and the friend bitches that's not enough. He could say, "Ok, then I can give you NOTHING. How 'bout that!?" Then he throws out at some point -- I'm not completely clear on the conversation sequence anymore -- the metaphor that the United States is the Oprah of the world, and that's when I said it.

"Well, when Oprah goes to Africa or wherever, she's not trying to spread her agenda ..."

A deadly silence fell over the room, broken only by him saying "Oprah has a fucking magazine and a televiszh ..."

"Yeah, all right, you're right, I choked. You win," I said, trying to think of the best way to cop out of saying something so assinine. I mean, it WAS 5:30 a.m., after all, and I DO have a sinus infection. The mucous could cloud my judgement, right!?!? And hey! He told me I was nuts at one point, and I was rattled by the personal attack! And, and ... yeah. I choked. That's what fucking happened.

Not usually one to let me out of an argument, he hit me with the usual "Don't patronize me," before realizing that after something that stupid? He probably ought to just let it go, because I was too humiliated to go on. I did evenutally recover my dignity when the discussion turned to gay marriage, but still ... oof.

So anway, back to the whole Republican issue and why I'm rattled by it: It's because when I think of Republicans, I've gotten so used to seeing them as people who don't think of why it is they support their party, and he does. In fact, he was the one, when I kept repeating, "I'm still tripping that you're Republican," to say, "You know, that's such a stupid way to look at people." As if I wasn't already humiliated enough.

Well, at least he can't pronounce tsunami right. He calls it, "tu-SAMI." Feh.