Greetings, people who find me through googling him or however it is you get here --

When I do my stat check each day, rarely am I surprised by what I find people looking up; "big boobs," "my boobs hurt," "vinyl smell" or "skull fucking" are usually among the biggest draws. You know, nothing out of the ordinary here in Chez Broad, really.

But then there'll be months when visitors come looking for he of the over-gelled mop-top, and I have to tell you, y'all are FREAKING. ME. OUT. I mean, who are you that you are inquiring of the wonders that are Mr. Zakula? Seriously. Are you trying to do a background check because you want to date him? Or are you members of the illustrious committee trying to find recorded dirt? (If so, stop by and say 'Hi," yo! I'm sure I don't have anything you don't already know, but it's not like you don't know me, right!? Be social!) What IS it!?!? I need to know so I can, like, relax.

Something else you can do to ease my melon: See that banner down there about the silver jewelry? Click on it so I can get a wee referral fee. That is all.

[CLARIFICATION: When I said go click on the banner, what I really meant was, "Go buy something from them, because they've got some really cool stuff, and then I can get my wee referral fee."]