For instance, I like being reminded of how, um, hot I am, just like anyone would. But do you really think I buy it that you're interested in anything other than a little pussy on the side? C'mon. You're a dude with a lackluster marriage at best who's approaching middle age and wants to capture a bit of his youth. It's a midlife crisis three years early, yo. But why not just be honest about your intentions? You're not leaving your wife; I doubt you're even separated from her, to be honest, because why the hell would you talk about our former sex like over work e-mail? (Yeah, I know you were vague, but still, it's WORK E-MAIL. Not exactly the forum for that.) Anyway, so yeah, you're not going anywhere, even if I did decide I wanted to bang you 12 ways from Sunday. I could just see it now: After you got it out of your system, I'd get "[Your wife] and I are going to try reconciling for the sake of [your kid]." Of course you are, because guilt is a powerful, powerful thing, and YOU NEVER LEFT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE. God. Seriously, there's no need for the dog & pony show. I know how this works.

And YOU -- well, I'm going to miss watching you in action, because I gotta tell you, sociopaths are funnier than hell to watch. (sigh) Yeeeessss, I know you think you're smarter than me and the whole rest of the world, and if that's what gets you through the night without peeing the bed, good on you. Just keep in mind that for all the people you think you've got snowed, there are those of us who just go along with you and then laugh behind your back at how you think you're so clever. And that's all I got to say about that.