because it's never pleasant to dream that one of your most beloved exes has been mowed down in a hail of gunfire because he didn't kowtow to the county's political party line.

Yeah. Lemme 'splain.

See, the county in which I live and breathe is exTREMEly political and therefore exTREMEly, and rather bizzarely, corrupt. Like, as in, people in high places know which way their employees vote; the person elected as the County Clerk is still working as an attorney full-time; and nepotism, nepotism nepotism to beat the band, among other various and sundry situations unbecoming to public office. Well, said ex was never one to tout the party line.

(Sighs dreamily)

About J: Met him at an 80s party that a couple of my respectable married friends held what, seven years ago (OMG). He was a deputy prosecuting attorney for the county, six years my senior and just incredibly brilliant and intense. And motherfucker could COOK -- I mean, like gourmet stylee. He could take leftovers that he had in his fridge for like weeks and turn them into restaurant food. He lived in the Miller section of Gary about 100 yeards from the beach, and I was crazy about him. My friends and I had these delusions that he and I would become this power boho couple, living by the beach and throwing interesting parties with our interesting friends, never mind that between the two of us, we wouldn't have cleared $50,000. Still! We would be witty and urbane! A power couple in the County of Lake, if you will.

That of course was before he dumped me after a month and I went all crazy pussy on him, back in the day when I was wont to try entirely too hard. He is also a non-exaggerated alcoholic, actually losing his law license for six months because of two DWIs within something like two months of each other. (The second one, he was driving home from the bar that was maybe 3/4 of a mile from his crib, and he flipped off the Gary P.D. Heh. That's my J.)

It's here that the dream picks up.