In fact, I would dare say dinner was a lot of fun. Seriously. The kids were just darling and well-behaved (though they got a little antsy toward the end, but there was Littlest Pets to be bought at Target, and that's a huge deal, y'all), and we were like two ladies who lunch -- nothing uncomfortable or nasty about it.

I'm glad I went.

I DID forget to tell y'all, save for a couple people, about the jackasses I encountered at the gas station this afternoon. I'm waiting for the tank to fill when these lunkheads -- Momma, Big Daddy and Junior on Spring Break -- pull up beside me in their 1995 Buick something or other. Momma was driving, and Junior was pumping the gas, and I guess he filled the tank when he wasn't supposed to because Big Daddy starts yelling and calling him a moron at the top of his lungs. Well, I start putting on some lipstick, and I guess I shot them a look of "whatever" because I found myself making eye contact with Momma, who I thought agreed with me until she said, "Makeup ain't going to help you, honey."

(Now, I should interject here that Momma didn't look to be a particularly petite flower and had fried, bleached out hair with a good two inches of dark roots, so it makes what comes next even more absurd.)

Anyway, I must've rolled my eyes again when Big Daddy starts yelling -- again at the top of his lungs -- "Hey have you called Jenny Craig yet!?? The number's ..." as I drove away.

Normally, something like that wouldn't get to me, but it got me to thinking: "Man, do I really look like I've gained that much!?? I mean, I know I have, but is it really that bad to other people!??" So I called Poppy about it, and of course she gave me the usual about low-lifes and how they'll go for the easiest common denominator, but then we started talking about how weight gain is viewed as a sign of weakness, whether it is or not, and if you're not stick thin, you're open to that kind of criticism. I mean, I remember when I was much lighter and a dicklicker called me a "fat ass" right before I got him and his no-boobs on a stick skank kicked out of the Cubs/Sox matchup. That was kind of depressing.